I was selfish...

There's a problem with the world.

There's a problem with everyone in it.

There's a problem with everything.

And you know what? Instead of going out there and helping fix the problem, I look at myself and make myself feel bad.

How more selfish could I be?

I have the one true God on my side... so how can I look at my problems!?

If I busy myself with other people's problems and help fix THEM, it takes my mind off MY problems.

I will let God deal with my problems and my fights instead of fighting them alone or running away.

And while He's doing that, I'll help everyone else who needs Him, and yet don't have Him.

I know many people who are Godless, and I know many who have God, but they just don't know when to let Him take control.

Therefor, I will help them get right with God, and in doing so, maybe I can get right with God too... yeah... I want to get right with God too...

...

Alone

Yep... that's me...

I kinda figured out why every day, I sit at my computer and do nothing all day.

I figured out why I would rather do this than go to town with friends.

...

It's because I have no friends to go to town with. Don't believe me?

Ok...

I have DD... but she's in America.

I have Janine... she's at camp.

I have Lucy... no wait... her BF hates me. Forget Lucy...

I have David... wait, is that it? I love David, but I can't spend every day with him.

And then there's the fact that it is now expensive to do anything.

So what if you go to town? What is there to do other than spend money!?

A walk in the park would be nice... I mean awkward...

Thee is absolutely flip-all to do in this world that does not include money going down a drain and being lost forever more to the stench of this crummy world.

In CFS, I was a loner. I barely hung out with anyone. Hence no friends.
In College, I'm a loner. Pretty much keep myself to myself. Hence no friends.
In Church... Don't get me STARTED about church...
OK... whatever... you asked for it... ¬_¬
In church... I am the ONLY member of my age. The other two closest to my age are 13 and 21... WAY to far away...

-_-

I just want to be able to wake up, slip out a phone, call a few guys/girls, say,
'HEY! AM MAKING A SHORT MOVIE? WANNA HELP?'
Hear their reply of 'sure' and all meet up somewhere to shoot it.

THAT is all I want. And when I become a director, THAT'S what I'll get.

But until then...

I guess I'm just a loner...

... sorry, God... I would have mentioned you... but my relationship with you is a little different. Thanks for being there anyways. :)

My moov- ... sorry... GOD'S moovie! ^_^

I keep calling it my movie.

In all honesty, it isn't my movie at all.

I'm basically the envelope. God put the message inside me, He will deliver me, and all I gotta do is hold on tight. ^_^

So yes, it is my movie in the sense that as an envelope, the letter is in my keeping.
but it's also God's movie as he gave it to me to keep.

(that envelope was an awesome analogy! Just saying...)
So yerp... ;D

I got a request from someone who wanted to take part in my movie.

I'm happy for them to take part, and I even offered them the job of composer.

The thing is...

1. My producers have a BIG say in stuff, and I think there is a guy they might have in mind for the job. He was the first guy that came to my mind too...

2. Again, It's not MY film, it's GOD'S film. Therefor, He probably has the right people in mind for certain roles.

Therefor, I asked her to make sure it was what GOD wanted, that she take the role. If it is what God wants, then my producers will have no problem with her doing the score. If it ISN'T what God wants, then we'll all know it...

I know 100% that I will make this film. But then again, I was 100% that I'd love Tamara forever...



...



So... I'm going to trust God with His film and we'll have to wait and see how it all turns out.

Faith is the key.

I love it when a taught plan comes together! :D

Have to get this all down. ya know... cos it's a movie...

MOVIE!

MY movie is 23 scenes long (not including credits)

This means that each scene is around 3-4 minutes long.

That means that my movie is gonna be about 92 minutes long.

Did I say a half hour movie? No...

I said An HOUR AND A HALF! *happy!*

SO!

Think about it. For me to make a 3-4 minute SHORT FILM... it takes me about 1 day.

INCLUDING EDITING!

So... that means that with my production team, I can make my movie SCENE BY SCENE

It will take about 23 days of shooting, give or take.

BUT if we do one day a week... then it'd take 23 weeks... give or take...

And then there's editing.

EDITING!

It'd be pretty hard to edit 500-800 shots on one time line. It'd take forever.

So what if I rendered each SCENE on its own, and then at the end, put all the scenes together and render only 23 clips in one time line.

That final render may take 24 hours... but who cares!? :D

That also leaves room for SOUNDTRACK!

SOUNDTRACK!

The soundtrack is gonna be simplistic and easy, but I have a lot of my name in the credits as it is. So if anyone out there feels like they could produce a soundtrack (and remember, kids... this is very important... you will have but a week to produce a track for each scene...)

If I finish shooting and editing, then I can hand the footage to someone for the soundtrack for the rest of the week while I begin shooting and editing the next scene. I then hand that and prepare the next... etc.

YAY!

'I love it when a taught plan comes together!' - Liam Neeson.

me up too early. me tired. me no write right.

Woke up too early...

got a few hours before setting out...

A few means 2.5

uurrggghhhh

Me not know what to write...

So me write about my life.
___________
OCCUPATION: My life go swell. Except that I don't know what to do. Me think me go be director. It what me want to do. Mom 'aint pleased. She don't want me to take job that might not go so well, and end with me screwed.
___________
LITERATURE: uuggghh, that word too long for this morning.
___________
LOVE LIFE: Still single. Me have dream about fake girl Miranda. She tanned and beautiful. Weird. Me also dream about kissing close friend. (Don't worry... it isn't you.) Woke up in shivers. Me not eat Magnum before bed next time.
___________
So that 'bout it. Am going to see Boulton and DeVenter to watch movie. DeVenter wants me to fix her problems too, so God willing, that will go A.O.K.
:)

Also gotta give this present to someone.
Knowing they just got an iPhone touch off someone else kinda makes this thing look worthless... xD
Aah well... let her BF spend loads on her. I just got her what she asked for. :P

Also got mah presents for Janine. ^_^
Me thinks she'll like them.

End.

replied it... thought it worked here...

I think I realize that this isn't going to be as easy as I once thought. Hence my 'oh no' the other night. I woke up this morning, and realized I wouldn't be getting a message from her.

:(

It's not that I'm gonna cry myself to sleep. It's just re-adjusting. I don't want to straight away go out and find someone to call 'love', but I don't want to be cooped up alone anymore. Not after what I've experienced in the past three-four months.

'Two Different Directions'

They say they love each other, and I've no doubt they do.
They say they'll always be together. That may not be true.
They come from different places. Different points of view.
Each one comes from different spaces. Everything is all brand new.

Two different Directions. Too many different ways.
One always wants to go somewhere. The other one always stays.
Too often unhappy. Too often on their own.
When you are moving in different directions, true love is all alone.

...

Need I say more?

Single

Yup. You heard right. Single. That's me.

I'm not sad that I'm no longer dating Tam. God gave me plenty of warning that it was coming to an end.

This includes the first verse (and chorus) to the song 'Two Different Directions' by John Denver.

And other stuff.

I think what we felt at first was, 'I haven't talked to this person in a while. This strange feeling must be love'

and it was... but it wasn't a 'love you forever' love. It wasn't a 'I want to marry you love', or if it was, it couldn't have lasted.

Who knows about the future? Who knows what will happen?

I don't.

I don't know whether I will ever see her. And if I do, I will be thoroughly happy.
But for now, we're just kids. For now, we're not able to experience what other lovers do.

So it's ended. We are no longer together. Know that I'm not ashamed.

Everything we experienced has been amazing, and the things that weren't have taught us lessons of the future. I would not take past the past 3-4 months. Never.

My college story will remain the same. Why? Because it's true.
Am not gonna change it because I feel different now than I did then.

Am not gonna destroy everything I ever shared with her. My YouTube videos, my songs and all those other doodahs shall remain. I want her to be a memory. Not a regret.

That's it. That's all I have to say about that.

I have no-one in mind for 'future love'
I don't even have a crush.

I'm just plain old me.

:)

BAAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK!!!!

Lot's of awesomeness happened while I was internet-less and phone-less in wales.

SO! IT'S TIME FOR A LIST!!! :D

1. I FINALLY finished my Nephilim story. AT LAST! YAAAAYYY!!!!

2. I wrote a song. WOOHOO! My second song! It's AWESOME!!! :D

3. I have written the SCENE PLAY for my Christian movie titled 'The Prisoner'

and finally

4. (not good news for me, but whatever) My blood sister is engaged.
Yeah... cool...

The end.

(miss mah Tamm ♥)

Religious wars, End times and Underground thieves... Welcome to my world. :D

So I decided to create a WHOLE NEW story, using inspiration I myself have had, and certain time periods and efforts given to me from another source.

As I've told you guys before (you guys meaning a very possible, at the most, 3 people...), I have been given the plot to a MOVIE!

Well, having written the history to the movie, I decided to use 3 characters which I had designed previously to create a MEGA MASSIVE SUPER STORY PLOT. :D

It will take place after the events of the movie, and will take place in
LONDON/CYPRUS/LIBYA

:D

So... I dont want to post the plot here... not yet...
BUT

I am willing to post the HISTORY of the RELIGIOUS WARS!
(my prologue)

HISTORY: In the year 2012, the ten largest governments of the world joined together to form 'The Allegiance'. As part of this allegiance, the ten governments agreed to one currency, one method of payment and, after some debate, one religion. As the governments fought, the leader of all ten (whom non would admit is in charge, and yet all would willingly die for) decides it shall be Atheism. As all are in agreement, all other religions are shunned. All over the world, Christians, Muslims and Jews are rejected, attacked and shunned. Eventually, the government decides to hunt down all religious groups, and they turn into hiding.

Bibles, Torah's, Koran's and other religious texts are burnt, and all religious believers executed without trial. In some countries, instead of going underground, religious gangs began forming and attacking the military forces of the world. So began 'The Religious Wars'. Gangs of Muslims, Jews and Christians began teaming together to fight the government. Others began fighting one another. All in all, the world is in chaos.

So!? What do you think!? :D